Luce (Lena Headey, left) and Rachel (Piper Perabo)

What I like about this movie is not only the beautiful love story and the romantic notion of love at first sight (which I do believe in – as I’ve said before, I’m a hopeless romantic), or that in the end, the girl gets the girl, but it’s the entire atmosphere and tone of the movie – the shots of autumn foliage on the streets and in the park, the beautiful music, the dialogues, the likeable characters and the great cast. I like that Rachel’s husband Hector is a decent and nice guy who only wants to make his wife happy but who just isn’t the right one. I like that Buffy’s “Giles” (Anthony Head) is in it, but this time in a very different, very funny role. And of course, I like the two women who are at the center of the love story: Piper Perabo and Lena Headey aka Rachel and Luce, who have great chemistry and make a beautiful couple – no wonder that they were mentioned in the “Favourite On-Screen Kiss” poll.

If you don’t know the movie, this trailer should be enough to convince you that it’s must-see:

And for those of you who already know the movie, here’s a reminder of why it is so great:

(Video by queengorgo)

The movie is about a lesbian couple who has been together for almost 20 years and who raise two kids together almost as if it was the most normal thing in the world. As Dorothy Snarker describes it in her review: “They live a happy upper middle-class existence with a nice house and Volvo SUV.” So far even better.

Now add to that the fact that the couple is played by two Oscar-nominated actresses called Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, and you would think that all the lesbians in the world would squeal with glee, wouldn’t you?

Nic (Annette Bening, left) and Jules (Julianne Moore)

Well, they aren’t. Because during the course of “The Kids Are All Right”, one of the lesbians sleeps with a man.

I have to admit that when I first read about this particular element of the storyline, I was disappointed. Another lesbian who goes back to sleeping with men? How original. But then I read the first review of the movie, and it was full of praise. As was the next one, and the one after that, and almost every review I have read so far, and not just in mainstream publications like the New York Times, but even on specifically lesbian websites like Velvetpark and AfterEllen.

And then I started to read the comments posted under those reviews, and the discussions about the movie on Twitter, and – oh my!

I did expect lesbians to take offence at one of the women sleeping with a man. Anyone who knows a thing or two about lesbians and claims to not see the political aspect of this part of the movie or doesn’t expect a lesbian backlash is naive. (Sorry Lisa Cholodenko, but that’s how I see it.) But I’m utterly bewildered by how this discussion is taking place, by the intensity of the arguments and by the vehemence with which people condemn and dismiss a movie which – and that, to me, is the most incomprehensible part – the vast majority of them haven’t even seen!

And that’s when I started to ask myself: What are we so scared of?

One of the main complaints about this movie is that the filmmaker sold out to win over a mainstream, especially male audience, and that this mainstream audience will get the impression that it only needs the right man to turn every lesbian straight – a stereotype that most lesbians were confronted with and had to struggle against for ages. Would it be harmful for the lesbian community and its struggle for acceptance, if that was in fact the case? Yes, it would. Is it in fact the case? I have no idea, because I haven’t seen the movie. But the majority of those who have seen it tell me it’s not, so for now, I decide to take their word for it.

Another argument I have read is that in general, female homosexuality isn’t taken seriously, and that, by having the lesbian sleep with a man, the movie diminishes lesbian sexuality – lesbians don’t sleep with men, or they aren’t lesbians. Period.

First of all, I don’t think that it’s just female homosexuality and lesbian sexuality that is not taken seriously, it’s women and their sexuality in general. Also, I initially got the point of saying that a “real” lesbian would never sleep with a man. It’s what we have been trying to tell people for ages when being confronted with the above mentioned stereotype (”it only needs the right man”), and it’s what lesbians generally define themselves by.

But when I read this argument over and over again, the exclusivity expressed in this statement made me cringe, and I suddenly started to wonder if it’s not actually us and this line of argument that doesn’t take our own sexuality seriously. We prefer to love and sleep with women, that’s why we define ourselves as lesbians, but as grown-ups, we are free to love and sleep with whomever we choose, and if one day that’s a man, it should be up to us whether we will stop defining ourselves as lesbians or not.

Last but not least, an argument that actually saddens me is that American lesbians – especially the one who made the movie as well as the ones who wrote positive reviews about it – just don’t get it. Silly me, here I thought that lesbians all over the world have to deal with the same stereotypes. I didn’t expect this to be a “Who is the better lesbian” contest.

As I have mentioned before, yes, it does bother me to know that one of the lesbians in the movie sleeps with a man, and I think that it is important to point out the possible impact a storyline like that can have and to have a discussion about that storyline, the movie in general and how the lesbian characters are being portrayed. I just wish that people would actually go and WATCH THE MOVIE before condemning it.

And I wish that lesbians would finally stop being so scared, but instead be out, proud and self-confident and realize that nobody can take that away from us unless we let them.

Since I’m a hopeless romantic and I know that most of you are, too, I chose a very romantic theme this time: Kisses.

There are all sorts of kisses, and we’ve probably seen them all: From a couple’s first kiss that marks the beginning of a love story, to a goodbye kiss before lovers have to go their separate ways, from kisses that openly celebrate a love, to secret kisses exchanged by two people who have to hide their love.

But which one is your favourite? Which one do you think was the most romantic, passionate, sexy, gentle, or maybe just the most unexpected? Here’s your chance to let us know.

You can vote for any kiss that ever happened on-screen – i.e. in a movie, on TV or on a web series – between two women, two men or a man and a woman. You can either name the characters or the actresses/actors. Apart from the movie/TV show/web series the kiss was on, please also include a brief description of the relevant scene, especially if the characters had more than one kissing scene. In case of a TV show or web series, it’d be great if you could also name the episode or at least the season.

Make sure to submit your vote before midnight on Sunday, July 11 (CET), and please only vote once.

If you don’t have any ideas, here are some suggestions:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Body” (Season 5, Episode 16):
After Buffy’s mother Joyce died unexpectedly, Tara kissed Willow to comfort her

Ellen, “Roommates” (Season5, Episode 3):
After Ellen came out, her best friend Paige had problems accepting it.
When she finally came around, Ellen took revenge in her own sweet way.

Stargate SG-1: THIS kiss actually never made it to the screen,
but  Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill did kiss on screen several times.
(And yes, I am a Sam & Jack shipper!)

Alles wird gut: During a boat trip, Nabou loses her patience with Kim and jumps over board.
Kim is forced to make a decision, and eventually follows Nabou.

Update:

Okay, okay, I give in and admit that it was probably a bit mean of me to ask you to only pick one scene. Okay, maybe even very mean. So, instead of having to fill out a form and send it just post your THREE favourite scenes (with the names of the couple involved, the title of the movie/TV show/web series, and a brief description of the scene) in the comments section.

Since I’m a hopeless romantic and I know that most of you are, too, I chose a very romantic theme this time: Kisses.

There are all sorts of kisses, and we’ve probably seen them all: From a couple’s first kiss that marks the beginning of a love story, to a goodbye kiss before lovers have to go their separate ways, from kisses that openly celebrate a love, to secret kisses exchanged by two people who have to hide their love.

But which one is your favourite? Which one do you think was the most romantic, passionate, sexy, gentle, or maybe just the most unexpected? Here’s your chance to let us know.

You can vote for any kiss that ever happened on-screen – i.e. in a movie, on TV or on a web series – between two women, two men or a man and a woman. You can either name the characters or the actresses/actors. Apart from the movie/TV show/web series the kiss was on, please also include a brief description of the relevant scene, especially if the characters had more than one kissing scene. In case of a TV show or web series, it’d be great if you could also name the episode or at least the season.

Make sure to submit your vote before midnight on Sunday, July 11 (CET), and please only vote once.

If you don’t have any ideas, here are some suggestions:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Body” (Season 5, Episode 16):
After Buffy’s mother Joyce died unexpectedly, Tara kissed Willow to comfort her

Ellen, “Roommates” (Season5, Episode 3):
After Ellen came out, her best friend Paige had problems accepting it.
When she finally came around, Ellen took revenge in her own sweet way.

Stargate SG-1: THIS kiss actually never made it to the screen,
but  Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill did kiss on screen several times.
(And yes, I am a Sam & Jack shipper!)

Alles wird gut: During a boat trip, Nabou loses her patience with Kim and jumps over board.
Kim is forced to make a decision, and eventually follows Nabou.

Update:

Okay, okay, I give in and admit that it was probably a bit mean of me to ask you to only pick one scene. Okay, maybe even very mean. So, instead of having to fill out a form and send it just post your THREE favourite scenes (with the names of the couple involved, the title of the movie/TV show/web series, and a brief description of the scene) in the comments section.

Since I’m a hopeless romantic and I know that most of you are, too, I chose a very romantic theme this time: Kisses.

There are all sorts of kisses, and we’ve probably seen them all: From a couple’s first kiss that marks the beginning of a love story, to a goodbye kiss before lovers have to go their separate ways, from kisses that openly celebrate a love, to secret kisses exchanged by two people who have to hide their love.

But which one is your favourite? Which one do you think was the most romantic, passionate, sexy, gentle, or maybe just the most unexpected? Here’s your chance to let us know.

You can vote for any kiss that ever happened on-screen – i.e. in a movie, on TV or on a web series – between two women, two men or a man and a woman. You can either name the characters or the actresses/actors. Apart from the movie/TV show/web series the kiss was on, please also include a brief description of the relevant scene, especially if the characters had more than one kissing scene. In case of a TV show or web series, it’d be great if you could also name the episode or at least the season.

Make sure to submit your vote before midnight on Sunday, July 11 (CET), and please only vote once.

If you don’t have any ideas, here are some suggestions:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Body” (Season 5, Episode 16):
After Buffy’s mother Joyce died unexpectedly, Tara kissed Willow to comfort her

Ellen, “Roommates” (Season5, Episode 3):
After Ellen came out, her best friend Paige had problems accepting it.
When she finally came around, Ellen took revenge in her own sweet way.

Stargate SG-1: THIS kiss actually never made it to the screen,
but  Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill did kiss on screen several times.
(And yes, I am a Sam & Jack shipper!)

Alles wird gut: During a boat trip, Nabou loses her patience with Kim and jumps over board.
Kim is forced to make a decision, and eventually follows Nabou.

Update:

Okay, okay, I give in and admit that it was probably a bit mean of me to ask you to only pick one scene. Okay, maybe even very mean. So, instead of having to fill out a form and send it just post your THREE favourite scenes (with the names of the couple involved, the title of the movie/TV show/web series, and a brief description of the scene) in the comments section.

One of the reasons I like to watch “The Rachel Maddow Show” – besides its “adorkable” host, of course – is that from time to time, I get to learn something new about my own country.

For example, I didn’t know that Germany is the new world leader in “beasts that predict world circumstances”:

So, Germany is going to beat England tomorrow? Great news. Go, Paul from Oberhausen!

Is probably not very pleased at the moment: Anne Will

ARD, Germany’s public broadcasting system, announced today that veteran TV host Günther Jauch will take over Anne Will’s time slot on Sunday nights in the fall of 2011. Her politcal talk show “Anne Will” is supposed to stay on the air, but will be moved to a weeknight – that is, if Anne Will agrees.

A spokeswoman for Anne Will’s production company told German news magazine “Spiegel Online” that NDR, the regional public broadcasting services that is in charge of “Anne Will”, intends to offer the show an alternative time slot, but that no decision will be made before the end of the current summer hiatus.

Out journalist Anne Will took over the prestigious time slot on Sunday nights following “Tatort”, one of Germany’s most successful crime dramas, from former newscaster and talk show host Sabine Christiansen in the fall of 2007. After inital criticism regarding the show’s concept and ratings even from ARD executives, the show has by now found its audience and the ratings are solid. Only last month, Anne Will told German newspaper “Süddeutsche Zeitung” that the show was “lans Schmitz-Backes”, which is an expression from her home town of Cologne and means that the worst part is over.

Today’s annoucement comes as a surprise especially since ARD had offerend the Sunday night time slot to Günther Jauch back in 2007. Back then, Jauch – who will continue to host the successful German version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” on TV channel RTL – apparently declined the offer because ARD wanted him to work for them exclusively.

Now, I’m usually not someone who promptly screams “foul” when a man is being favored over a woman, or who quickly alleges people of sexism. Still, I couldn’t help being majorly annoyed by today’s annoucement. Leaving her high-profile job as news anchor on one of Germany’s most popular news programs to replace Sabine Christiansen, whose political talk show “Christiansen” was hugely successful, was a considerable risk, but Anne Will was willing to take it, and she made the show work. Having to make room now for someone who initally did not even want the job is a slap in her face, and I cannot help but wonder whether the decision makers at ARD would have done this to a man.

The only thing that is consoling, if only a little bit, is that there are no indications that today’s decision had anything to do with Anne Will’s sexuality. But that’s only a very, very cold comfort.

Is probably not very pleased at the moment: Anne Will

ARD, Germany’s public broadcasting system, announced today that veteran TV host Günther Jauch will take over Anne Will’s time slot on Sunday nights in the fall of 2011. Her politcal talk show “Anne Will” is supposed to stay on the air, but will be moved to a weeknight – that is, if Anne Will agrees.

A spokeswoman for Anne Will’s production company told German news magazine “Spiegel Online” that NDR, the regional public broadcasting services that is in charge of “Anne Will”, intends to offer the show an alternative time slot, but that no decision will be made before the end of the current summer hiatus.

Out journalist Anne Will took over the prestigious time slot on Sunday nights following “Tatort”, one of Germany’s most successful crime dramas, from former newscaster and talk show host Sabine Christiansen in the fall of 2007. After inital criticism regarding the show’s concept and ratings even from ARD executives, the show has by now found its audience and the ratings are solid. Only last month, Anne Will told German newspaper “Süddeutsche Zeitung” that the show was “lans Schmitz-Backes”, which is an expression from her home town of Cologne and means that the worst part is over.

Today’s annoucement comes as a surprise especially since ARD had offerend the Sunday night time slot to Günther Jauch back in 2007. Back then, Jauch – who will continue to host the successful German version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” on TV channel RTL – apparently declined the offer because ARD wanted him to work for them exclusively.

Now, I’m usually not someone who promptly screams “foul” when a man is being favored over a woman, or who quickly alleges people of sexism. Still, I couldn’t help being majorly annoyed by today’s annoucement. Leaving her high-profile job as news anchor on one of Germany’s most popular news programs to replace Sabine Christiansen, whose political talk show “Christiansen” was hugely successful, was a considerable risk, but Anne Will was willing to take it, and she made the show work. Having to make room now for someone who initally did not even want the job is a slap in her face, and I cannot help but wonder whether the decision makers at ARD would have done this to a man.

The only thing that is consoling, if only a little bit, is that there are no indications that today’s decision had anything to do with Anne Will’s sexuality. But that’s only a very, very cold comfort.

Is probably not very pleased at the moment: Anne Will

ARD, Germany’s public broadcasting system, announced today that veteran TV host Günther Jauch will take over Anne Will’s time slot on Sunday nights in the fall of 2011. Her politcal talk show “Anne Will” is supposed to stay on the air, but will be moved to a weeknight – that is, if Anne Will agrees.

A spokeswoman for Anne Will’s production company told German news magazine “Spiegel Online” that NDR, the regional public broadcasting services that is in charge of “Anne Will”, intends to offer the show an alternative time slot, but that no decision will be made before the end of the current summer hiatus.

Out journalist Anne Will took over the prestigious time slot on Sunday nights following “Tatort”, one of Germany’s most successful crime dramas, from former newscaster and talk show host Sabine Christiansen in the fall of 2007. After inital criticism regarding the show’s concept and ratings even from ARD executives, the show has by now found its audience and the ratings are solid. Only last month, Anne Will told German newspaper “Süddeutsche Zeitung” that the show was “lans Schmitz-Backes”, which is an expression from her home town of Cologne and means that the worst part is over.

Today’s annoucement comes as a surprise especially since ARD had offerend the Sunday night time slot to Günther Jauch back in 2007. Back then, Jauch – who will continue to host the successful German version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” on TV channel RTL – apparently declined the offer because ARD wanted him to work for them exclusively.

Now, I’m usually not someone who promptly screams “foul” when a man is being favored over a woman, or who quickly alleges people of sexism. Still, I couldn’t help being majorly annoyed by today’s annoucement. Leaving her high-profile job as news anchor on one of Germany’s most popular news programs to replace Sabine Christiansen, whose political talk show “Christiansen” was hugely successful, was a considerable risk, but Anne Will was willing to take it, and she made the show work. Having to make room now for someone who initally did not even want the job is a slap in her face, and I cannot help but wonder whether the decision makers at ARD would have done this to a man.

The only thing that is consoling, if only a little bit, is that there are no indications that today’s decision had anything to do with Anne Will’s sexuality. But that’s only a very, very cold comfort.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked you who you think the most enchanting German women are, and you replied.

After two weeks and a few hundred votes, you not only let me know who your clear favorite is, but also gave 8 (!) women the exact same amount of votes. Which means that I now get to present you with a list of not only 10, but 12 enchanting German women and one honorable mention.

Even though the vast majority of votes were sent in from Germany, there were also votes from France, the UK, the Philippines, Singapore, Switzerland, Thailand and the U.S. In total, the lists of nominees included the names of more than 80 women from all areas of life, not only actresses, TV hosts, musicians and sports women, but also a politician and even a former bishop.

The youngest woman in the Top 12 list is 29, all of the others are in their 30s and 40s.  (Which means that, unlike last weekend, 19-year-old German ESC winner Lena did not rule THIS vote.) Also, four of the women in the Top 12 are dating women in real life, including the lovely lady who snatched the top spot, whereas four only kiss women on TV (at least as far as I know).

So, have I teased you enough? Well then, without further ado, here they are: The Most Enchanting German Women 2010, according to your votes!

1. Anne Will
2. Claudia Hiersche
3. Miriam Meckel
4. Dunja Hayali
5. Ulrike Folkerts
6. (With the same amount of votes, in alphabetical order:)
   1. Maria Furtwängler
   2. Ina Müller
   3. Franka Potente
   4. Meike Schlüter
   5. Esther Schweins
   6. Maike von Bremen
   7. Anne Wis

Honorable Mention: Romy Schneider

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