When I came out, I did what most of us did: I looked for other lesbians. And I looked for them where a lot of us do before they dare to go out into the real world: on TV, in movies, in music.

Of course, I found the usual suspects. In music, there were Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang and the Indigo Girls; in movies, there were “The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love”, “Claire of the Moon”, “Desert Hearts” and “When Night is Falling”; and on TV, there was – of course – “Ellen”.

But I even found some where I didn’t really expect them – in German TV shows, particularly soap-operas. By the time I came out, a trend had started that committed every soap-opera to provide at least one homosexual character. At first, those were usually men, but in the late 1990s, more and more lesbian characters turned up. When I started to look for lesbian characters on TV, I quickly found Billi & Andrea on “Marienhof”, Nina & Erika on “Verbotene Liebe”, and let’s not forget Tanja on “Lindenstraße”. As most freshly out lesbians, I became captivated with their storylines and was glued to the TV set whenever one of those characters was on. I was so happy to have found these characters on German TV that I was completely oblivious to the obvious, given the nature of the TV shows they were in: That they – and I along with them – were in for some major heartache. In soap operas, no relationship lasts forever. Why did I think a lesbian relationship would?

Andrea (left) and Billi	Nina (left) and Erika

So, of course, Billi eventually cheated on Andrea and left her a couple of times, Erika cheated on Nina with her husband who she had originally left for Nina, and Tanja’s first girlfriend was even killed by Tanja’s husband, but only after she and Tanja had tried to kill him first! (The latter was one of the worst lesbian storylines ever; luckily, the writers have redeemed themselves since, allowing Tanja some happiness for now with legally-registered partner Susanne and their little son, and the writers of “Verbotene Liebe” even brought Nina & Erika back together years later.)

Throughout the years, there have always been lesbian characters on German TV shows. One of my favourite and – in my opinion one of the most realistic lesbian characters – was Rosalie, the main character’s best friend on the German comedy “Berlin, Berlin”. I also got my heart broken again when Sascha broke up with Kerstin on “Hinter Gittern”, the German version of the UK’s “Bad Girls”. This show actually featured a lot of lesbian characters, but of course, most of them were inmates – so much for role models or good examples. Unfortunately, the majority of lesbian characters were and still are on soap-operas, which means their storylines will most likely follow the rules of these kind of shows – every relationship they have is doomed. It also means that what the TV audience gets to see is a not even nearly realistic portrayal of a lesbian relationship.

Rosalie (left) and best (straight) friend Lolle	Sascha (left) and Kerstin

But listen, you might say, none of the relationships portrayed on soap operas are realistic, and people know that, and of course you are right. The problem is that most people don’t need to see a realistic portrayal of a straight relationship, because that’s what most of them know already. Still, there’s almost no TV show on German TV that isn’t considered a soap-opera that features a lesbian character. There’s Karin, the title character’s assistant on the TV drama “Rosa Roth”, but since the characters on this show barely have a private life, we don’t know anything about hers except that she knows sign language because she was once in love with a deaf girl who was killed in a diving accident. (Speaking of doomed lesbian relationships…)

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there are lesbian characters on German TV that I don’t remember or don’t even know about. Or maybe in other European countries, the situation is totally different. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Next week, we will put together a list of lesbian characters that we know of that are currently on a TV show (European of course, as in “no Callie and Erica”) and post it on eurOut. The list will also include shows that are hosted by out lesbian hosts or have out lesbian participants (like Lucy Diakovska on Austria’s Starmania). We intend to update the list from time to time to see where we’re heading. To make the list as comprehensive as possible, it would be great if you could send us information from your country, either via private message or to entertainment@eurout.org

As for me, I have learned my lesson. I’m not following any lesbian storyline on TV anymore. (Watching “Callica” clips on YouTube doesn’t count…)

(Pictures by lindenstrasse.de, cootv.de, daserste.de, dykevision.de und rtl.de)

(Posted on eurOut on Oct. 18th, 2008)